Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Taxpayers foot the bill for ECT torture in MN

OMG! This could have been me not too long ago. Thank god I got away from psychiatry. They come to Ray's front door and forcibly take him away to shock his brain every other week, and it's being paid for by taxpayers! Nothing is more outrageous! It kills me to just think about it, and Ray is living it.

Hey, this could be you if you seek help for depression, nothing works, and you land in a hospital. ECT is for "treatment resistant" depression. I was certainly at risk. Nothing helped my depression. Hospitals made them worse. The oppression of the mental health system made them worse. My inability to cope with stress made them worse. Nothing helped, and just the thought of ECT gave me the creeps. I remember one of my last hospitalizations, in 2000, I was rooming with a young woman who said she had Dissociative Identity Disorder (which used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, and which was a label I was given for many years). Every morning she would be taken away for ECT, and every afternoon, she would be soooo out of it. I remember asking her if she wanted ECT, and she said absolutely not. She was scared of saying no to her doctor, though, and she continued to go along with his orders. She was very compliant, just like the doctors wanted.

I think back on that... I was an involuntary patient. She and I had the same doctor. He could have forced ECT on me. How many others are getting ECT as I write this? How may choose it? How many are coerced or too afraid to stand up to their doctors? How many are blatantly forced, like Ray? How often does this go on???

I guarentee you this -- one day ECT will be looked upon as barbaric and unthinkable by everyone, like lobotomies are now. Sometimes it's just the era you are born into. Timing is huge. I am so sorry, Ray. I am so sorry. You are incredibly brave, and what you are going through is going to help bring these asshole doctors to their senses one day. OK - not to their senses (duh!) - but it will eventually change the law so these assholes cannot abuse human beings anymore with their "treatments".

If I had the opportunity, I would go to Ray's doctor's front door one morning and drag him to his own clinic and strap that ECT machine to his little pea brain. Before putting him under, I would ask him if he wanted ECT. When he said no, I would tell him that it was for his mental health, then I would zap his brain. Oooh that felt good to just write.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

k.d. hallelujah lang

This song is one of my all-time favorites, and thanks to Gianna, who posted this version to her blog, I am now able to experience it by one of my all-time favorite performers: k.d.lang. I could write a book about k.d.lang and the effect she has had on my life, especially when I lived in a teeny tiny town called Avoca, Arkansas. I wonder if that town can be found on Google Streetview. Her music is...well...I can't express it in words unless I write a book, and even then, it's questionable whether it can be expressed at all.