Whenever you are feeling victimized, helpless, and hopeless, it can be the first clue that you have given your power away to someone or something. I'm not talking about being a victim of a crime, although you can certainly apply this tool to any situation, especially when the victimization continues long after the actual assault.
I used to be in the victim role. It was how I got the attention I craved and the help I needed. I would attract people with an empathetic personality and a compassionate heart. I needed empathy and compassion like I needed food, and I would feed on people who were like this toward me. It was how I emotionally survived in life. It was the only survival tool I had.
The Universe gives you the desires of your heart, and the intensity of the desire, the depth of it, is the loudest voice you have. It is your Universal power.
My deepest desires were to receive empathy and compassion from others. I could taste them and feel them and savor them before I ever received them. They were first and foremost on my mind nearly every waking moment. They were the hope and the reason to keep living, just to know that the reward would be so incredibly sweet, even if short-lived. A moment of compassion would sustain me for a week. A morsel of empathy would encourage me to keep striving for the next scrap.
It's a dramatic way of life, rarely boring, full of tears and loneliness and intensity, and it gave me a sense of identity that I would not have had otherwise.
Eventually, the pain of this role began to outweigh the pleasure, and I needed to find a different way. I needed to learn how to give myself the things I needed. My dilemma was that I was not good enough to be in that role for myself. I was inferior to the type of person who had the capacity to show compassion. It seemed ludicrous to even consider it.
Then, through my spiritual awakening, I began to feel all the things I was terrified of feeling. I began to feel the desperate loneliness, the incredible rage, the unbearable sadness. And through these same feelings, I began to feel Compassion revealing itself to me from within the depths of my soul.
The intensity of all these feelings was the truest indicator of my Power within.
When I feel victimized today, helpless and hopeless, desperate and lacking, I know that I have given away my power to a situation or person at some point. I may not be consciously aware of who or what or how, but it is not necessary to know. It will come in time. What is necessary, however, is that I reclaim my power as soon as I realize that I have given it away. This can be as simple as saying out loud, "I reclaim my power NOW!"
It's the proverbial "shaking the fist" at God scene. Loud, dramatic, intense. Or quiet and meditative. The method doesn't matter, only the intent.
When I do this, the magic begins. Incredible insights flow in from seemingly nowhere and solutions appear where there weren't any before. It's usually at that point when it becomes clear to me where and how I gave my power away. It is a true "duh" moment, too, and I have to laugh at myself for being so blind.
Most people reclaim their power and have no idea that's what they just did. The Universe responds to your deepest intent, even if you aren't fully aware of it. That is the Law of Attraction. But when you are fully aware, the whole process becomes a conscious creation, a miracle. There's nothing like it.
Espavo...
That means "thank you for taking back your power."
8 comments:
thank you Jayme...just what I needed right now. You know I practice the embracing of pain as you described in one of your posts. It's starting to bear fruit.
Love to you.
Have you seen the movie, "The Secret"? If not, I have it and I'll let you borrow it. It's phenominal. It talks about The Law of Attraction. We've been watching segments of the movie at lunch where I work.
Thanks for sharing this motivational message.
sue
Gianna, I knew you were testing the waters with it, and I am so glad you are giving it a try. I had a feeling you would. You do take risks!
Sue, yes, I have The Secret. We play it here a lot, just in the background even if no one is watching!
beautiful! This makes perfect sense! ~ Denise
Hi Jayme,
Haven't read all your blogs but do plan to as you touch a chord in my spirit. What you said about truth not existing, only resonance, especially interested me as truth is something I value highly. Will have to do more thinking and research. It's obvious you have done a lot of introspection, learning much in the process.
I, too, have MS and did have what was diagnosed as depression or atypical bipolar but don't believe it was either. While pregnant with my fourth child in six years, I began to have headaches. Since I had developed preeclampsia with my last baby, I was admitted to the hospital. I made the huge mistake of saying to an aide that I felt like jumping out of the window (NEVER joke with hospital personnel about such things). Transferral was quickly made to the psych floor where I underwent 10 minor electroshock treatments, became worse, then 15 major electroshock treatments and didn't "come out" of that until after the 15th. I remember nothing of that or of most of the year prior to the shock treatments.
My feelings about psychiatrists are frankly not printable. The psychiatrists in this case included Drs. Cleckly and ________ and they used shock treatment on any and everyone, saved them a lot of time and effort.
That was 1965. MS was diagnosed in 1978 and a part of it included suicide attempts which I believe were more a reaction to a cheating, abusive husband who was not a good father but wouldn't let me go. It took me years to stand up to him and walk out though he did stalk me, etc.
Sorry, this is rambling, very tangential. I've blogged on a few other MS sites but never said anything about the shock treatments. Somehow I think you may know something about this thru your network. Please let me know. I've been fine emotionally for the past nearly 20 years after a couple of years of counseling but still have a lot of questions.
Thanks, Carolyn
Jayme,
I just found your site today. Just got on line a few weeks ago. You write good stuff. I have lived on self-pity road for many years. We will rise or fall with our attitudes. A good friend tells me to look for the good in every situation.
Thank you for your writings and the this site. I do not feel so alone battling mental illness without pills.
Jim S
Carolyn, I am so sorry about your shock treatments. I have never been forced into those (came close) but I have been forced into other harmful treatments. It is disempowering and dehumanizing. I am sorry you had to go through that. I am glad you found my blog and I hope you'll drop by again. Please take special care.
Hi Jim, Wow, you found my blog after only a few days of being online? I am honored!
You are not alone in battling mental illness without pills. You are in good company.
Please come by anytime!
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