Taxpayers foot the bill for ECT torture in MN

OMG! This could have been me not too long ago. Thank god I got away from psychiatry. They come to Ray's front door and forcibly take him away to shock his brain every other week, and it's being paid for by taxpayers! Nothing is more outrageous! It kills me to just think about it, and Ray is living it.

Hey, this could be you if you seek help for depression, nothing works, and you land in a hospital. ECT is for "treatment resistant" depression. I was certainly at risk. Nothing helped my depression. Hospitals made them worse. The oppression of the mental health system made them worse. My inability to cope with stress made them worse. Nothing helped, and just the thought of ECT gave me the creeps. I remember one of my last hospitalizations, in 2000, I was rooming with a young woman who said she had Dissociative Identity Disorder (which used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder, and which was a label I was given for many years). Every morning she would be taken away for ECT, and every afternoon, she would be soooo out of it. I remember asking her if she wanted ECT, and she said absolutely not. She was scared of saying no to her doctor, though, and she continued to go along with his orders. She was very compliant, just like the doctors wanted.

I think back on that... I was an involuntary patient. She and I had the same doctor. He could have forced ECT on me. How many others are getting ECT as I write this? How may choose it? How many are coerced or too afraid to stand up to their doctors? How many are blatantly forced, like Ray? How often does this go on???

I guarentee you this -- one day ECT will be looked upon as barbaric and unthinkable by everyone, like lobotomies are now. Sometimes it's just the era you are born into. Timing is huge. I am so sorry, Ray. I am so sorry. You are incredibly brave, and what you are going through is going to help bring these asshole doctors to their senses one day. OK - not to their senses (duh!) - but it will eventually change the law so these assholes cannot abuse human beings anymore with their "treatments".

If I had the opportunity, I would go to Ray's doctor's front door one morning and drag him to his own clinic and strap that ECT machine to his little pea brain. Before putting him under, I would ask him if he wanted ECT. When he said no, I would tell him that it was for his mental health, then I would zap his brain. Oooh that felt good to just write.

k.d. hallelujah lang

This song is one of my all-time favorites, and thanks to Gianna, who posted this version to her blog, I am now able to experience it by one of my all-time favorite performers: k.d.lang. I could write a book about k.d.lang and the effect she has had on my life, especially when I lived in a teeny tiny town called Avoca, Arkansas. I wonder if that town can be found on Google Streetview. Her music is...well...I can't express it in words unless I write a book, and even then, it's questionable whether it can be expressed at all.

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

hahahahaha

1st Anniversary! Woo hoo!!!

We made it. We're one year old!!!

Our First Christmas - (to Stephany's daughter)

This is dedicated to Stephany's daughter. You do have the strength, and if you forget it for a moment, let us gently remind you. We will hold the hope for you, and the love, and the power. This video is for you, darling. Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve 2008 at the Peer Support and Wellness Center

I still can't believe I am getting into the holidays this year, but this is simply magical. I wish you could be here in person and feel the amazing energies surrounding this entire house. I feel so much love for each individual who walks through the door. It's incredible, just incredible. I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

Empanada Christmas

Empanada's first Christmas. I guess she's having fun. I know we are!

Christmas Party at the Network

I've gone to the Georgia Mental Health Consumeer Network's Christmas Party every year since I became their web designer in 2004. This one was extra special because all the staff from the Peer Support and Wellness Center were invited. It was the first time I brought my video camera, too! Nobody was camera shy, which is heaven for me, and the food was incredible. I ate too much, then my sister and I went to the movies and had popcorn, then we went out to diunner. I have been fasting today because I woke up this morning still full. I hate when that happens. Ahhhh the holidays .. then the diet. I'm sure you can guess what my New Years Resolution is for 2009. I totally blew it in 2008.

Google Search Trends

Google has their most popular searches listed at http://www.google.com/trends. Of course this is fascinating to me, and I am going to list the most popular searches, which by the way, make no sense to me whatsoever. But as an experiment, I will see if my stats rise just because I am listing them.

bush shoe
pete carroll night j...
david clowney
man throws shoe at b...
odot
oregon department of...
nick.com/biggreenhel...
honolulu marathon
bush in iraq
just friends

Anyway, it's Sunday, and I have spare time to do something utterly meaningless. Oh, and here's a video to boot. I called this art, but really only two pieces are considered art - the one titled "Abandoned" and the one titled "Rejection" which was my first sale years ago. The rest are just experiments with Photoshop filters. Well, I guess the sunset is original, too. As a side note the one titled "Abandoned" is actually Karla at age three. It took me three weeks to draw that in Photoshop. I don't know if any of you are into Photoshop, but there's a free program called Gimp that is just like it. Try it out! You will be surprised at what you can create.

Oh and I almost forgot! The Peer Support and Wellness Center now has a video blog! It's at http://peersupportandwellness.blogspot.com/ . Now all our videos are in one place. Things are going great, btw. I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season. I am actuially getting into it this year.

Thanksgiving 2008

Attempting the Andy Griffith Tune

Jake tried to whistle this tune, but he kept getting stuck. He's swinging on my raised knees, in case you were wondering.

Medication Nation

Douglas Kennedy on antipsychotics, FDA ignoring dangers, Fox National

Run for Wellness and Recovery

This video was so much fun to make. It was a great event, too! It poured down rain the night before, and we were worried it would be canceled. But it turned out to be a beautiful day, just perfect. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I enjoyed making it.

Karla Dances - Age 12

Jake

Jake was my constant companion for two years. Here is some footage I found from 2002. I just had to include Jake on this blog.

Faces of Recovery 2008

The first night of the Georgia Mental Health Consumer Network conference, attendees told their recovery stories on camera. The four people in this video are Sherry Olvey, who participates at the Peer Support and Wellness Center, Steve Morgan who is an excellent writer and advocate, Maureen Mayer, a full-time employee at the Wellness Center, and Pricilla, who we met that evening.

Serenity at 7 Months

I first met Karla when she was 2 years old, but I had seen many baby pictures of her. Serenity is identical to those pictures. It's uncanny. It will be amazing to watch Serenity grow up.

Peer Support and Wellness Center

The boys

It doesn't get any better than this.

Kaufman House

Part One


Part Two


The woman interviewed in this story is Nancy Jensen, a friend and colleague of Beth Filson's. You may remember Beth from some of the videos I have posted here. Here is one and another one.

Kansas is the state where I spent a year in their state hospital. It could easily have been me in this story if I had stayed in Kansas after being discharged. I'm so sorry it happened to Nancy. I'm so sorry it happened at all.